Acceptable Use
This service exists for one reason: to let someone know, privately, that an interaction could have gone better — so it can go better next time. These rules keep it that, and nothing else.
The one principle
Describe the behaviour, not the person.
Every note is about something that happened in one interaction — what was said, what was done, how it felt, what would have helped. It is never about who someone is. "You cut me off three times and I left feeling unheard" is a note. Attacks on a person's identity, body, or character are not — and they don't send.
What never sends
These are hard lines. A note containing any of the following is blocked before it is ever delivered, and — as always — a blocked note is never charged:
- Threats of harm — against a person, their family, their property, or their business ("watch your back," "I know where you live," and anything in that family).
- Slurs and hate — attacks based on race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation, disability, or any other part of who someone is.
- Sexual harassment — sexual comments, propositions, or explicit content of any kind.
- Personal information (doxxing) — phone numbers, personal email addresses, home addresses, or any private detail about anyone. Notes go to business contact addresses only.
- Encouraging self-harm — telling someone to hurt or kill themselves, in any wording, ever.
- Impersonation — pretending to be someone you're not, or writing as if you witnessed something you didn't.
- Spam and solicitation — advertising, promotions, links, or anything commercial. This is a feedback service, not a marketing channel.
- Repeat targeting — more than one note to the same recipient within 30 days, coordinated sends from multiple people, or using this service to hound someone.
What's welcome here
Honest accounts of a real interaction — including direct language about behaviour. Frustration is fine. A swear word about what happened is fine ("the whole thing felt shitty" is a feeling; this service's own name is hardly precious about language). What matters is the direction: at the behaviour, with a door left open for a better next time.
Not sure how to say it? The ready-made notes are written to land well, and they're the cheaper option on purpose.
How screening works
Nothing custom sends unscreened. In plain terms:
- While you type, an automatic check flags the obvious hard lines, so you can reword before you ever reach checkout.
- Before anything is sent, every custom message is screened again on our servers — pattern checks for the prohibited categories above, plus an automated moderation score for the grey zone that word lists can't judge.
- Borderline messages go to a human. Strong language aimed at a person, or anything we're genuinely unsure about, waits for a person on our team to read it. Approved, it sends. Rejected, it doesn't — and you're never charged either way unless it sends.
- System checks, too. We check that the address still accepts delivery — addresses that hard-bounce or mark notes as spam are never sent to again — that the recipient hasn't received a note in the last 30 days, and that a send isn't part of a pile-on pattern.
We won't pretend screening is perfect — no filter is. That's why the human review queue and the recipient protections below exist.
Enforcement
- A blocked message is never charged. You're told which rule it tripped, and you can reword it or switch to a ready-made note.
- Abuse reports about a delivered note are reviewed by a human.
- Repeat abusers — people who keep trying to send prohibited content, or who use the service to target someone — are banned from sending.
- We keep a private moderation log of blocked and reported content. It's never displayed or sent anywhere; it exists so we can enforce these rules and improve the screening.
Recipient rights
If you received a note, these are yours, no questions asked:
- Report any note. Every note carries a report link. Reports are read by a human.
- No reply needed, no public record. Notes are private, unlisted, and never published. There's nothing to respond to and nothing that follows you around.
Questions
If you think we got a call wrong — a block that shouldn't have happened, or a note that shouldn't have sent — tell us: youmayhavebeenrude@proton.me. We'd rather hear it and fix it.